Listening Is Vital To Effective Communication

Listening is one of the most important parts of effective communication. No matter what method we're using to communicate there are a couple of things it's good to keep in mind:

• First: we understand who we're trying to communicate with
• Second: we know what we want to say before we say it
  

It doesn't make sense to think of what we want to say if we don't know who we're saying it to, or what frame of mind the person we're saying it to might be in. Do you ever get so caught up in the tasks of the day that you become less aware of your surroundings? Sometimes this is beneficial to getting the work done, but if it becomes a habitual state we can miss what's happening around us and this can impair our ability to communicate well.

It's easy to express what's important and relevant to us, without fully considering the person we're expressing it to. This can lead to some frustrating moments for people we spend time with. By observing and listening to someone we can determine what's the best approach or response, or even if it's an appropriate moment to speak.

It requires concentration and effort to listen properly. We might find ourselves replying before the other person has finished talking. By not hearing them through, we may misunderstand what they were trying to say and it's very likely that we leave that person feeling unheard.

Body language and tone of voice are good indicators of meaning and feelings. Trying to understand how another person may feel allows us to remain open to possibilities we may not foresee. It gives us an additional opportunity to open communication in a way that we may otherwise miss.

Just as when we're writing someone a letter, when we write an article, a book, or we speak, we first need to consider if the person receiving it will enjoy reading or hearing it, find it interesting, fun or useful? Sometimes we write or say something for ourselves. If this is so, we need to be extra careful to assess whether it's relevant and interesting before presenting it to someone else.

How we interact flavors our life; it can often even determine what happens in our life and what choices become available to us. It's worth understanding how to communicate effectively to optimize our possibilities and have as much fun as we can in the process.

How Do You Communicate?

How do you communicate? Almost certainly there are many answers to that question. We all communicate in an infinite variety of ways, some of which we may not even be consciously aware of.
Communication is one of the most fundamental building blocks of family, business and society in general. Order and understanding arises out of successful communication. Every person has a unique viewpoint. Listening and observing is crucial to sharing with and enriching one another. We can gain an appreciation for many things that are beyond our own personal experience by learning from what others have to say.

Each form of communication involves a host of intricate nuances. For instance, in speaking we assume that the listener's comprehension of the meaning of a word is the same as our own. This basic premise is something we often take for granted. Or we may think that the listener is able to process information as quickly as it's delivered; so we may expect them to fully comprehend a situation as soon as we've finished describing it.

Sometimes these assumptions are correct, sometimes they're not. If they're not, misunderstandings can arise which may not be a result of a difference of opinion, but which occur due to a difference in the premise of communication and of the speed with which that communication is fully understood.

We communicate in all sorts of ways: speech, writing, equations, pictures, works of art, body language, music. These expressions become a part of our culture and we often rely on our knowledge of references to historically established meanings, such as symbols or events.

People differ in their preferences of communication and excel in different ways of expressing themselves. Some prefer to write, draw, talk, dance, sculpt, sing, play an instrument, prepare food....




Equally, we all have a means of expression that we find easiest to comprehend.

Vital and common to all forms of communication that result in a beneficial outcome are:

1. a positive approach to the subject being considered, and
2. an inherent respect for the listener or observer.

Including these two aspects as a basis for any expression or conversation provides an optimal arena for successful understanding. Easy as it sounds, it's surprisingly difficult to remember all the time.

Telling Your Story

The urge to be creative is something most of us have. Some people can't ignore it, and their passion to express it often drives them to great accomplishments. All creativity is in essence some form of expression, be it scientific, artistic, logical or emotional. And at the root of expression is communication.

We have many means to communicate through all five senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch. Innumerable fields of creativity have developed around each one: dance, music, speech, theater, movies, books, history, art, science, cuisine, design, scents, fashion....

Speech is something our ancestors have used since before record keeping began, probably even for around a million years. There are known to be rock paintings as early as 40,000 years ago. Symbols were used to communicate until gradually writing, more as we know it today, began to develop relatively recently from around 4000 BC.

Writing allows us to communicate both to ourselves and with others. Through it we can speak to people in distant places and even times. The written word connects us with the thoughts of others. My grandfather recorded part of his life history on audio tape. I'm transcribing the tapes, and listening to his voice brings his physical person back to me as though I can see him sitting talking to me, telling me stories, as he used to when I was a teenager. I knew him well and loved him dearly. Listening now to his tapes and his story are enabling me to know him better. I'm grateful to have this opportunity.

Everyone has a story, be it short or long, to tell. Did you ever ask someone you know if you could record them telling their story? Or have you ever been drawn to tell a story, any story, yourself, or to express some idea? Picking up a pen or a microphone could get you started on an adventure.